Feminist Friday: Who Gets The Check?

Friday, June 13, 2014

Who Gets The Check?

A feminist rant for financial equality on the dating scene.


We live in a society where women almost (sadly, yes, it’s still only almost) get paid as much as men, and have practically the same opportunity to receive college degrees and advance in their careers. After centuries of being treated like the lesser sex, women are finally able to prove themselves as equals in the workforce.

However, the rules of dating haven’t stepped up to the modern plate, and quite some confusion can occur when it comes time to pay. 

Traditionally, men were expected to pay due to two major reasons:

  1. Women didn’t have any money of their own, nor were they given any opportunity to make it.
  2. Men were required to prove that they had the financial resources to support a family during the “courting” phase.

Obviously, this expectation is a little too outdated to be respected (especially by the feminist community). If women are just as able to pay for a date as a man (and in some cases, more so), who should get the check?

I think this question can best be answered with another question:

Who made the plans?

Traditionally, it was the man’s job to ask the woman out, make the plans, and then assume responsibility of all the costs involved to enforce the plan.

But tradition has changed. Now a woman can just as easily be the one to initiate and enforce all the plans, and I don’t think it’s fair for a woman to expect a man to pay for her own idea. I mean, if the situation were reversed would you really want to be expected to pay for the game tickets and beer when you don’t even really like sports (or beer for that matter)? No? Then don’t expect him to be super psyched to foot the bill for the book-turned-movie you wanted to see.

This in no way should give men an out, though. I know it’s popular for men to claim they just “don’t know” what to do or where to go, but that’s bullshit. Men have been planning and paying for dates for centuries, and now that women have been given the equal opportunity to do the same they suddenly can’t handle the responsibility? I don’t think so.

Financial equality is not about letting women take the bill all the time because they can (though there are some men out there who actually believe this). Financial equality is about being seen and treated as an equal when it comes to financial responsibility. If a woman plans a date, she should be expected to pay. Ditto for a man: if he plans, he pays. And if he’s unwilling to plan and/or pay?

Well, that’s another topic.

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