Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Day 1 of Open Letter Challenge: a letter to my future husband.

My dearest future husband,

I’m not perfect, I know, and yet I strive for perfection anyway. I worry, plan, and think too much. I care and give more than could ever be returned. I strive for a level of excellence that is always mathematically, sometimes physically, and quite often emotionally impossible, and I don’t know how to quit until by God’s amazing grace, I’ve achieved the impossible or crashed & burned trying.

I’m a mess of thoughts, wishes, and big ideas. Sometimes, I hardly make any sense, and yet despite all my obvious and frustrating flaws, you love me unconditionally. It is your love that sets me free from the bondage of idealistic perfection, and brings me back to the already blissful present with you. 

You find my overactive brain inspiring and brush away my worries and fears in the simplest and gentlest of ways. You care about every little part of me, my hopes, my dreams, my thoughts on the smallest of matters. You believe every part of me is worth loving.

And when I’ve given all I have yet again, you step in and give me all I need. You are always in full support of my every Mission Impossible with full faith that I will achieve every goal I set for myself. And if I fail, you’re there to remind me of my strength and encourage me to try again.

Our love is the one Mission that doesn’t seem impossible. Loving you comes easily, and sometimes I can hardly believe how lucky I am to have you.

So it is with great pleasure that I will honor the following vows to you:

I vow to listen to your every word just as you do for me. To not only simply respond to your words, but to truly hear and understand everything you say.

I vow to support you in everything you do, to have an unwavering strength of faith in your life choices.

I vow to love you like the space between lightening and thunder: electrified and alive, but also silent and knowing. 

I vow to love every single part of you without consuming you and forgetting that while our love makes us whole, we are still two individuals.

I vow to care for you in every way I know how, and to learn how in any way I don’t.

I vow to remain emotionally and physically faithful to you and only you for as long as I live.

I vow all these things even though I know, I understand that nothing lasts forever. Everything is temporary. But our love makes each passing second, each fleeting moment, feel like the temporary can last forever, and if forever did exist, I know I’d want to spend it with you.

I don’t know who you are yet, but I know you exist. And one day, you will read this, and know I was writing to you, about you, for you before I even knew your name. And I hope it makes you smile.


Kayla L. Mathys

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