Feminist Friday: Strength in Support

Friday, September 19, 2014

Photo Credit: http://hutzimbl.deviantart.com/art/Friendship-317886234
Feminist Friday: Strength in Support
It takes more strength to seek support from others than to handle everything alone.

News flash: Life is not perfect.

Shocking, right? It certainly is for me sometimes. So often, I get caught up in all the good I have going on in my life that I completely disregard the fact that everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever, nor was anything meant to last forever. You can take that as depressing, but to me it’s one of the most beautiful truths we have to hold on to. Knowing nothing lasts forever, that everything is temporary, reminds us to live in the moment, and there is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of living in the moment. We take less for granted and start enjoying the little things more.

Last week was a really good week for me. I made more money than I was expecting from my work that I really, truly enjoy and love. I love the people I work with, and I love the work that I do, and the environment I’m in. I made new friends, and connected with old ones, and generally had  some of the best times last week.

I was expecting this week to be the same, but the thing about expectations is that they are usually wrong. 

Bad news at the worst timing, and a culmination of terribly distressing events struck me from all angles this week. It felt like my life was completely falling apart, and I had the strongest urge to just shut the world out and disappear for a while. 

Running was how I always tended to deal with my problems, but I’ve realized that running doesn’t solve anything. Eventually, I’ll stop running, and realize I have even more to deal with than if I had just faced whatever I was running away from at the start.

I think this is a pretty typical experience. As women, we are taught conflicting messages of how we’re supposed to deal with things. We’re not supposed to rely on others and we are. We’re supposed to hide our feelings so we’re not perceived as weak and we’re supposed to embrace and be honest about our feelings so we don’t explode. We’re supposed to be kind and nice and only serve others and we’re supposed to look after ourselves, make our own decisions. Basically, we’re supposed to carry the entire world on our shoulders, all on our own, and so often we do. Until we can’t anymore.

That’s when we run.

But running isn’t the answer. Running doesn’t solve anything. You can't run from the world and all it’s problems. No matter where you run to, the problems will still be there.

So what’s the answer?


When the world gets too heavy for us to carry on our own, let’s make an effort to share the world with the people who love and care about us. Let’s make them our support. We all need support sometimes, and maybe it’s hard for us to admit, but it’s necessary. It doesn’t matter what your situation is, whether it could always be worse, or whether you don’t think it matters. It does. Whatever you’re going through, whatever is causing you pain, you don’t have to and shouldn’t go through it alone. Suffering is the same in every situation, and support is the best (maybe even the only) way to alleviate that suffering.

So stop carrying the world on your own two shoulders. Stop running or retreating from it when it gets too heavy. Share your burden, lean on your support, lean into the love that is there for you if only you ask for it. 

Love is the only thing that matters in life, the only thing that is real. Therefore, it is not a sign of strength to pretend we don’t need it, to run away from it instead of toward it. Instead of hiding from love and the support it offers, seek it. Ask for it. We all need it.

The sooner we admit it, the stronger we’ll be.

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