Letter to Mimi

Tuesday, September 09, 2014


Letter to Mimi
Day 4 Open Letter Challenge: Letter to the woman who has influenced my life the most.

Dear Mimi,

They say with enough wealth and love, you would have all you need to rule the world. I believe that’s true because you certainly rule my world. Every major decision I have made in my life has been made with your voice and counsel in my mind. I wouldn’t be who or where I am today without your presence in my life.

This isn’t always a good thing, I’ll admit. I like to think of myself as an independent individual, but you have much more influence and power over my life than I would ever like to admit. You always have. And if I’m being completely honest, sometimes, I resent you for it. You’re always right, of course. About everything. But sometimes I wish you’d let me figure that out for myself.

You’ve taught me a lot. Pretty much everything. You taught me how to bake, the joy of the kitchen (even if you didn’t let me eat the cookie dough). You taught me how to swim, how to give, how to love. You taught me how to shop, and spend, and save. You taught me how to question my decisions and create a rational plan of action. You showed me the importance and meaning and purpose of family.

But you also taught me shame. You taught me that I am not good enough as I am. I am only as good as the world thinks I should be. It’s a lesson you were taught yourself, and I can’t blame you for thinking it’s right.

You taught me perfectionism, that appearance is everything. You taught me judgement and hate and criticism. You taught me doubt. 

You taught me every hard lesson I’ve had to learn in this life, and I am equal parts grateful and resentful for it all. I know everything you do or say is to protect me. I know you always have the best intentions, and with the best intentions, you rule my world.

It’s your voice that I hear the most often. With every decision, I’m reminded of you. Will you approve? What would you say? What would you think? I know you’ve always been right, so I trust your opinion the most, even though it’s often what I least want to hear.

You hold the biggest influence in my life, and I cherish, adore, and love you with all I have. Maybe we don’t always get along. Maybe the truth you have to give is something I’m not ready to face, but at the end of the day, you know I’ll listen to your advice and everything will turn out okay. And if I’m ever lost, I know I can count on you to help me find my way again.

Thank you for everything you have given me. I love you so much. 

Love,


Kayla

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