Music Monday: Breakaway

Monday, September 08, 2014

A fictional interpretation of a song by Kelly Clarkson.

Staying would be too easy.

Leaving is always harder. Goodbyes are a difficult and necessary hurt, and the price of independence isn’t always freedom. There is a certain comfort level that comes with staying, a complacency of sorts.

Which is exactly why I needed to leave.


It started with a wish.

When my family decided to leave the city I love for the quiet calm of the suburban countryside, I wished for a terrible accident to befall our travels. A dramatic death seemed a more suitable punishment than leaving behind my childhood of takeout boxes and concrete-jungle adventures. The city was alive. Our new home felt dead, the silence suffocating, filled with soundless screams.

I wished desperately for an escape.


Most people don’t ever escape.

Their lives follow a much predictable path. From sunrise to sunset, their days are mapped, never changing. And that’s okay for them.

It wasn’t okay for me. I liked change. I liked the challenge of adaptation, of pushing myself to limits previously unexplored. I liked the feeling of accomplishment and success.

I didn’t belong here.

Until I almost did.


The change took place shortly after my high school graduation.

I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I only knew I wasn’t going to spend it here. But here is where my life existed. 

Why would I leave?

How could I stay?

I was torn between two worlds: the world of who I was and the world of who I could become. Only one side could win. Which would it be?

Even I wasn’t sure.


Staying would be too easy.

Staying the same would be much simpler than growing up and growing wise. Staying dependent was a much more sheltered life than breaking away on my own.

But I couldn’t stay.

So I breakaway.

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