4 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How To Stop

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Photo Credit: http://casheefoo.deviantart.com/art/Burn-449383731
4 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How to Stop
Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. Here’s how to make friends.

  1. We make excuses.
We all have things we know we should be doing, but we make excuses instead. We tell ourselves we’ll do it later, or tomorrow, even though we know that “later” and “tomorrow” aren’t guaranteed to exist. We tell ourselves we have more important things to do, or we need a break because we’re just so stressed right now. We procrastinate, and wait until the very last second to complete the work we should have finished already. And in doing so, we cause ourselves more stress, guilt, and sabotage our chances for success and accomplishment.

How to Stop:
Take Action

Before you have the chance to make excuses, take action. Just do it. Do whatever you know you should be doing. Don’t give yourself time to talk yourself out of it. Just take action. Take baby steps if you have to, but get something done. You’ll feel better when you do. 

2. We lie.
Most of us lie with good intentions. Perhaps we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, or maybe we’re trying to protect ourselves from punishment or harm. But the good intentions of a lie are short lived. We forget that only the truth prevails, and only the truth is love, the purest of good intentions. So when the truth comes out, the consequences are much greater than telling the truth would have been.

How to Stop
Tell the truth.

Don’t take the easy way out of (or into) a situation by lying. Be honest from the beginning. It might be harder, but nothing worth having comes easy, right? Tell the truth.


3. We distract ourselves.
We overwork ourselves at a job we can’t stand. We get involved in a relationship we know isn’t good for us. We become addicts, dependent on our drug of choice. We keep ourselves busy in whatever way possible so we can ignore our inner reality. 

How to Stop:
Slow down.

Before you do something, ask yourself why. Why are you working at a job you can’t stand? Is the money really worth the cost to yourself? Your health? Your relationships? Your soul? Why are you involved in a relationship that isn’t good for you? Are you afraid to be alone? Why? Do you not feel worthy of a healthy, honest relationship? Why? Why do you smoke/drink/exercise/binge-eat/name-your-addiction-of-choice? What are you hiding from? Why? Slow down, and really honestly ask yourself: WHY?

4. We silence ourselves.
Somewhere deep within all of us, is a wise voice with all the answers to life’s questions big and small. When faced with a tough situation, this voice knows exactly what to do. The problem is that we often silence our inner voice. Perhaps we don’t trust it, or maybe we’re just scared of it. This voice often urges us to make changes in our lives that we’re not sure we’re ready to make. Change is scary, especially when the change is unknown. So we bury our wisdom, our inner knowledge, and rely on the advice and counsel of others instead. We ignore our inner truth and seek guidance from external sources. And often our life ends up in shambles because of it.

How to Stop:
Listen.

Listen to the fears that are stopping you from making the change. Let yourself be afraid. Explore the reasons for your fear. Often, by allowing yourself to sit with the fear, you’ll overcome it. Then, once you’ve overcome the fear that is holding you back, listen to your personal truth. Trust it. And then make the changes necessary for your growth. Even if it’s terrifying. Know that nobody else can tell you what you need to do. Your inner truth is yours and yours alone. Listen to it. Silence the rest.

The Bottom Line:

You are the only person in charge of your life, so if your life isn’t what or how you’d like it to be,  you are the only one who can change it. Stop sabotaging yourself, and start taking ownership for your life. Listen to yourself. Listen to your inner truth. Take action instead of making excuses. Question the reasons behind your actions. You know what’s good for you. Be honest, to yourself and others. Treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend, your favorite person. You wouldn’t sabotage their life, would you? So why are you sabotaging yours?

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