5 Signs It's Time to Let Go

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Photo Credit: http://yuca-chan.deviantart.com/art/Let-Go-121256771
5 Signs It’s Time to Let Go
It’s always hard to let go, and even harder to know when.

I’m terrible at letting go.

I tend to see the best in people, and want to make everyone happy. Or maybe I just don’t respect myself enough to command respect from others. Either way, I struggle to let go of relationships and people who are no longer good for me. I cling onto people and relationships far longer than I should.

But it’s something that I’m working on, and I’ve learned to recognize the signs it’s time to let go and move on. It doesn’t make letting go any easier, but it helps to know when it’s time.

With that being said, here are the five signs it’s time to let go.

  1. The trust is gone.
Trust is the foundation for every healthy, successful relationship. Without it, the relationship is a house of cards able to collapse with a single gust of air. If there’s irrational jealousy and accusations or if you find yourself struggling to be honest because you don’t trust the other person’s reaction to your honesty, it’s time to move on.

2. You don’t tell them big news.
When something big happens in your life, whether good or bad, who do you call? Who shares your success and is there to help you through your failure? Who is your shoulder to cry on when everything is going wrong, and the one pouring your drink and making a toast when everything is going right? Who can you to tell everything to? If you ever have to pause before sharing something big with someone because you’re not sure whether or not they’ll truly care, it’s time to let that someone go.

3. It doesn’t feel good to be around/talk with them.
How do you feel when you’re around them? Everything is energy, and the energy we give off is either positive or negative. The people we need to let go are the ones who give off more negative energy than positive. I know it probably sounds weird, but think about it. Notice how you feel when you talk to them or spend time with them. Do you have to force the conversation? Or does it come naturally? When you leave their presence, do you feel uplifted and happy or do you feel drained, exhausted, and down? Do you dread spending time with/talking with them? Or do you look forward to it? Let go of the people who bring negative energy into your life. You don’t need it.

4. You can’t be yourself around them.
This one filters back into having a lack of trust. If you feel you have to morph into someone else to suit their needs, the relationship isn’t healthy and needs to be let go. The people who are meant to be in your life are the ones who accept you unconditionally. If you have to change any part of yourself to keep the relationship, the relationship isn’t worth having, and it’s time to let go.

5. You make excuses for their behavior.
Maybe they are stressed and overwhelmed. Or maybe they have been through a lot. And yes, maybe you aren’t perfect either. But why are you making excuses? Why do you feel the need to defend this person? Defensiveness is the minds way of fighting against the truth, and the truth is that this person’s behavior is upsetting. They have crossed boundaries, and it’s time to let the relationship go. But letting go is hard, so the mind makes excuses instead. Stop making excuses. If you have to defend their behavior, then it’s not right, and you need to just let go. A healthy relationship doesn’t require excuses. 

Letting go is hard, but holding on to an unhealthy relationship will only make things harder for us. Relationships are meant to help us grow, but not every relationship is meant to grow with us. Sometimes, we have to let go in order to move forward.

So let go.

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