5 Ways to Spot a Liar (and how to stop them)

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Photo Credit: http://april182.deviantart.com/art/R-U-mine-407805995

5 Ways to Spot a Liar
(and how to stop them)
Whether they are lying to themselves or others or both, here’s how to spot the dishonesty.

  1. Their responses to statements and/or questions are defensive.
Are they offended? Angry? Claiming to be hurt by your lack of trust and/or faith in them? Then they’re lying. An honest person would care about your feelings, and would seek to remedy whatever actions led to the lack of trust instead of putting on a defense. An honest person doesn’t need to protect anything because the truth speaks for itself.

2. They exit the scene and/or change the subject.
A liar escapes from the truth, so when faced with a situation in which the truth might come out, they find a way to exit the scene. They are experts at changing the subject or rushing off to somewhere far more important for them to be. But the only thing that’s important to them is making sure the truth doesn’t come out.

3. They play the victim.
Do they paint a perfect picture of themselves? Do they blame others for their mistakes and/or flaws instead of taking ownership for them? When you confront them with the truth, do they make you feel guilty for it?

4. They are disconnected from their feelings/emotions.
Liars are experts at pretending everything is fine, but eventually they’ll have a moment of emotional explosion. They’ll often explode, exit the scene, and then go back to pretending everything is fine a moment later. They have trouble sympathizing, empathizing, or otherwise accepting and respecting the feelings of others. And it’s not because they’re sociopaths who don’t have feelings. It’s because disconnecting from emotions makes lying easier.

5. Their actions don’t match their words.
This one is obvious (it’s practically the definition of lying after all), but it’s often overlooked. Liars know exactly what we want to hear and have no problem telling us, even if it isn’t the truth. Actions really do speak louder than words, so while you may want to believe they’re telling the truth, don’t just take their word for it. Make sure their actions line up with everything they have to say.

How to stop the lies:

Call them out on it. A liar requires a willing participant to believe in the lie they’re telling. Don’t be that person. Demand the truth. If they truly care about you, they’ll have no problem giving you the truth. But if they don’t? You’ll know it’s time for you to walk away from this person. 

Also, take a look at yourself. If you consistently find yourself being lied to, it might be because you aren’t being completely honest with yourself either. We attract the people who are most like ourselves, so if you find yourself surrounded by liars, you might have your own problems with honesty to figure out.

The truth will always prevail in the end. It may take time, but the truth will eventually come out, and all lies will be exposed. Keep this in mind.

Honesty is the best policy. Always.

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