Feminist Friday: 4 Things to Stop Apologizing For

Friday, October 10, 2014

Photo Credit: http://larafairie.deviantart.com/art/Breeze-55635131

Feminist Friday: 4 Things to Stop Apologizing For

We live in a society that seems to apologize for everything and nothing at the same time. We seem to have forgotten that the phrase “I’m sorry” is as much an action as it is an expression of regret.

So it’s time to stop apologizing, especially for these four things.

  1. Our feelings.
While I’m not an advocate for the excuse “I can’t help the way I feel” we are all only human, and we’re all going to have feelings about certain things at certain moments. It’s normal to feel sad and depressed when things are going wrong. It’s normal to confuse infatuation and love. It’s normal to feel angry when someone betrays you. It’s normal to FEEL. Don’t ever apologize for having feelings. EVER.

2. …Or lack of feelings.
“I’m sorry I don’t feel the same/ just want to be friends/ etc…” is a ridiculous excuse of an apology. Stop apologizing for not feeling something, or sharing feelings for someone. You don’t owe them an apology for being honest. “I’m sorry” is not a disclaimer before a painful truth. Stop using it as one.

3. Our personality traits.
I don’t know why we feel the need to apologize for who we are. Whether it’s a sarcastic sense of humor, a laugh, a nerdy obsession or anything in between, we don’t need to apologize for who we are or what makes us happy.

4. Our past.
We can’t change what has already been done, and we won’t ever rewrite history. But that doesn’t mean our pasts have to control our future or present. Maybe we’ve made some mistakes we’re ashamed of, but that doesn’t mean we are a mistake or that we’ll make the same mistake again. Mistakes are good as long as we learn from them. Learn from your past. Don’t apologize for it.

If you’re going to apologize, do it right. Make sure you’re actually sorry for what you’re apologizing for, and then make the conscious effort to make sure you never repeat the behavior you’re apologizing for again. Because that’s what an apology is meant for.

As for everything else?


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