Feminist Friday: 15 Things You Don't Have To Do Just Because You Have a Vagina

Friday, November 07, 2014

Photo Credit: http://casheefoo.deviantart.com/art/Feather-492178403
15 Things You Don’t Have To Do Just Because You Have a Vagina
Break the mold. Exceed expectations. Be YOU.

  1. Eat chocolate.
Some people just don’t like it. That’s okay. You’re not any less of a girl (or human) just because you’re not shoving your face full of Hershey bars and spoonful’s of Nutella.

2. Cry during sad scenes in movies.
Art is designed to make you feel, and movies are a visual art, but people have different tastes. It’s completely normal if you don’t feel connected enough to the movie to achieve the sadness the movie was aiming for. Not every sad movie has to be a pile-of-tissues experience.

3. Have your entire wedding planned before you graduate high school.
…Or at all. Weddings are beautiful, and daydreaming about them can be a fun way to pass the time. But it’s okay if Googling the perfect dress, location, etc… and creating a smorgasborg of Pinterest boards dedicated to someday, my prince will come isn’t your definition of fun. 

4. Get married.
You are under no obligation whatsoever to ever get married. You can stay single for as long as you want. You don’t have to settle. Even if you’re in a serious relationship, and he (or she) gets down on one knee, YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET MARRIED. It’s okay, I promise.

5. Have children.
Having children is a HUGE responsibility. Making the decision requires the acceptance of the sacrifice of all your free time and self-care. You won’t get to think of yourself very often once you have children. And nothing kills marriages, intimacy, peace, and fun quite like having kids (this isn’t my opinion: it’s scientific fact). Therefore, it’s completely understandable if you don’t want to have them. 

6. Enjoy shopping.
Shopping is exhausting. It’s mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. Especially if you’re naturally plagued by indecision, and just can’t decide what you want. It’s okay to think shopping sucks.

7. Dress up.
You don’t have to wear a dress or heels or anything that isn’t comfortable to you. You are not any less of a girl if you don’t brush your hair, put on makeup, and live in your sweats. Wear what’s comfortable and appropriate for YOU, and you can’t be wrong.

8. Collect shoes.
Let’s be honest here: no matter how many shoes you have stacked in your closet, there are only two (maybe three) pairs that you’ll wear consistently. So what’s the point of hoarding all the other ones? To wear for a special occasion that may or may not ever come? To sit in your closet and look pretty? Trust me, you’re better off not being a shoe hoarder.

9. Have super-close girl friends.
There are extraordinary benefits to authentic female bonding and friendships, but those kind of friendships can’t be forced and the benefits can’t be faked. Society currently raises our daughters to compete with each other instead of befriend each other, and nobody does more harm to girls than other girls. So if you don’t have any super-close girl friends, that’s okay.

10. PMS
Some people do, and some people don’t. It’s okay if you don’t experience the stereotypical heightened emotions, food cravings, and moodiness. Or if when you do it’s not involved with your “cycle.” Everybody experiences things differently. 

11. Have sex.
YOU ARE NEVER, EVER OBLIGATED TO HAVE SEX. You can always say no. Even if you said yes, and then changed your mind at the last minute. Even if you’ve been with the person for years. There is absolutely no circumstance where you are wrong for saying no to having sex. It’s your decision. ALWAYS.

12. Be a certain height.
You don’t have to be shorter than your dude. Wear the heels if they make you happy, even if you’ll tower over everyone else. Or wear the flats, even if everyone will mistake you for a child. Embrace your natural height.

13. Be a certain weight.
You should know by now that trying to attain a body image identical to the ones portrayed in the media is ridiculously unrealistic, and unhealthy. Everybody’s ideal weight is different. Instead of trying to fit an unrealistic ideal, take care of your body. Eat what feels good, exercise for fun (not for the calorie burn), and enjoy yourself. Because that’s what matters. Not a number on a scale.

14. Shave.
The first time I shaved, my mother warned me I would never be allowed to stop. As if my hair wouldn’t ever grow back. She was wrong. Hair does grow back, and it’s perfectly okay if you don’t want so shave it. It’s your body. You are in charge of what comes off.

15. Anything at all.
This is the bottom line of this post. You absolutely, positively don’t have to do anything just because you have a vagina. You don’t have to listen to the pressures of society, friends, family or anything other than yourself. You are the only one who can know you. You are the only one who can be you.

Be you.

That’s the only requirement. :)

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