Letter for Home

Monday, July 20, 2015


Letter for Home

Dear C.,

I feel like I should apologize because you were one of the most important people in my childhood, and yet I can’t remember how we met. Was it my brother’s friendship that led to our introduction? Or was it your sweetly innocent first-grader “romance” with my sister? I don’t know, but I do know that ever since, you have been a part of my chosen family, my chosen home.

Perhaps it’s all the childhood memories, but you feel like home to me. No matter how much distance and time stretches between us, the simplest of the things brings you to mind—out of my heart where you’ll always stay. I remember you coming over nearly before dawn every Saturday morning because you knew my family made pancakes every weekend, and wanted to help. I remember you in pretty much every memory of summer fun: video games, we’ll-never-sleep sleepovers, trampolines, sprinklers, swimming pools, and more exploring expeditions than could ever be counted. I remember you as the first boy I wanted to kiss, and did. I remember you as the boy who gave me a velvet rose that forever made me sick to receive real flowers. Why want something temporary when you can have forever, right?

I know we lost touch for a while when my family moved to another city. It was about three or four years before you were able to get in touch with my family again. I remember you came to stay with us for a week, and it wasn’t the best time for any of us, especially not you. Which might explain why it has taken you six years since then to reach out again.

But now that we’ve gotten the chance to reconnect again, I realize you’re just one of those people, the kind of people who still feel the same, like home, no matter what. Though we’ve been through years of experience, and changed and rechanged our definitions of ourselves, our directions in life, everything, I still feel like nothing has changed at all. You are still you, and I am still me, and we can still be as comfortable with each other as we were when we were just kids who didn’t know yet how to be self-conscious.

I read something once about the theory of soul groups. Basically, the theory is that before we enter the Earth plane, when we are souls in the great unknown, we plan out everyone we will meet in our next Earth life. We make contracts with other souls, connections that benefit the growth of our souls, our ultimate purpose. This is why we often, as humans, can feel like we know someone we’ve only just met. And also why some people are always familiar to us, no matter what. 

Your soul is familiar to me. I feel like I know the essence of who you are. You are a lover, a giver. You love and you give with your whole heart, nothing less, which is oftentimes disastrous, but also the most beautiful thing a human being can do. You are determined and passionate and brave. You don’t shy away from the hard stuff, hard work, hard conversations, or hard situations in general. You’re resilient. You adapt to every situation life presents you with, and you bounce back quickly from every struggle and catastrophe. Nothing is impossible for you. You know you can accomplish anything like all the best people do.

I know you’re still deciding what direction you want to go in your life right now, but I hope you know that no matter what you choose, it will be incredible. You are not the kind of person to do anything without a reason and a meaning behind it. Every path you take is filled with the truest of intentions, and I have always envied you for that. You have mastered the art of following your heart, while I feel like I am barely just beginning to learn. Though perhaps that is what you can teach me.

I want you to know that I love you, and I am so grateful to have you in my chosen family, my soul family. Your simple existence has made my life better in so many ways. No matter what, I will be here for you whenever you need me. 

With love,


Kayla

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