Higher Power

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Higher Power
An expanded explanation of the third part of my intentions for the Year of Genuine Connection.

Where did we come from?

Why are we here?

Where do we go when we die?

These are the questions that haunt humanity. We, as humans, must find answers to these questions in order to feel like we can live. Even the most anti-theistic of us will ask and answer these questions somehow.

Perhaps it’s to make sense out of the chaos we live in. Or maybe it’s to give us comfort and security in times of intense struggle so we can find the strength to carry on. But for whatever reason, we need to believe in something to survive.

I was raised Christian, so throughout my life that is the belief system I have turned to in the darkest periods of my life. However, my belief only stretches so far. It’s only a matter of time before my reservations with this religion I was born into resurface, and I realize Christianity (to me) is nothing more than a hopeful endeavor gone wrong. I’ve read the Bible cover-to-cover several times, but as hard as I try, I can only ever see it as a fairly interesting history lesson and not a black-and-white gospel of truth. I believe in the essence of Christianity (i.e. living a life like Jesus), but I don’t believe that Jesus is the one and only God, nor do I believe the Bible is at all the Word of God, therefore, I technically can’t call myself a Christian.

In the past few years, I’ve found my religion on my yoga mat. I’ve sought my inner Divinity, and found my inner strength and purpose. However, in the absolute darkest periods in my life (like when I can’t even get out of bed), my yoga mat offers little comfort. I don’t have a Higher Power in my yoga. There is nothing I can turn to except myself, and I don’t have enough faith in myself for that to be any help.

Which is why this year, I want to bring a Higher Power to my yoga. I want to find a word and a name and face for God I can believe in whole-heartedly. I want to find my gospel of truth and my sacred space. 

I want to find my own answers to the essential questions in life. :)

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