Learning to Love

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Learning to Love

Recently, I’ve started dating.

As in ACTUALLY dating. Like meeting up with virtual strangers for coffee/ice cream/dinner, and determining whether or not we can build a compatible connection together. 

After the disastrous end to my engagement, I’ve spent the past four years avoiding anything resembling a real romantic involvement. “Dating” consisted of FWB-type relationships with people who were just as commitment-averse as I was. And if I ever did manage to catch a glimpse of real feelings for one of these people or vice versa, I was quick to end the relationship immediately.

However, this pattern was in direct opposition to what I really wanted: 

At the end of the day, my heart still wanted to love and be loved truly in return. I still envisioned a future of settling down, having kids, and building a life with a partner I considered my equal. The problem was that my fear overshadowed my desire.

But now, I have finally reached a point in my life when fear is no longer a priority. 

It’s taken me a long time to get to this point, but I’m finally ready to learn how to love again and to let myself be loved in return.

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