Show Up

Sunday, October 02, 2016

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Show Up

I’m realizing when it comes to committing, showing up is half —if not more— of the work.

As a perfectionist, this has been a hard concept for me to accept. In my all-or-nothing perception, it seems much more logical to pour my whole being into something…or just give up because I simply don’t have the energy to spare. Unfortunately, this line of thinking means I usually tend toward the latter: giving up instead of giving my all.

But when I observe this pattern a little closer, I realize what’s truly at hand is a fear of failure. I’m afraid my all won’t be good enough. And underneath that, there’s a part of me that fears I am not good enough.

Which is just ridiculous.

But since I spent five years of my life battling a debilitating illness while the rest of my peers were living normal high-school/pre-college lives, it’s a fear that feels very real to me. Because I missed out on so many traditional milestones (such as prom, graduation, moving away for college, etc…), I feel like I’m years behind the rest of my peers, unable to catch up no matter how hard I try. And this feeling of not measuring up makes it really hard to show up sometimes. I automatically assume simply showing up can’t be good enough when I’m so far behind.

As I’ve advanced in my yoga teacher training, though, I’ve seem this assumption break down bit-by-bit. 

“Even if all you do is lie on your back and cry for an hour, show up,” my instructor would tell us. “Showing up is the work. It’s the hardest part.”

And indeed it is.

It is much easier to stay in bed than it is to wake up and get shit done. It’s much easier to hide than it is to push through the insecurity and embrace the risk of failure.

Showing up is an act of incredible strength and courage. And just by showing up, you’ve accomplished so much more than you think.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself now. And I highly encourage you to do the same. 

Show up.

Give yourself some credit—much more than you think you should.

Then show up some more.

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