Thursday, October 13, 2016

Photo Credit: http://martasyrko.deviantart.com/art/open-313008731


In a dream I had the other night, I was fired from my day job.

I was happy and smiling with my coworkers when my manager showed up out of nowhere, clapped a hand on my shoulder, and without emotion said “Hey, just so you know, this is going to be your last shift. The GM has decided to terminate your employment. We can no longer afford to keep you on.”

Before I could react, he was walking away, whistling, and I was left shocked, confused, and devastated.

In real life, I was recently given a raise, and have multiple customers and employees alike singing my praises. I’m much more likely to receive a promotion than I am to be fired.

I can comprehend my reality as an outsider looking-in and tell myself “Yes, I deserve this goodness. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned this.” But beneath the surface-level, my subconscious reveals the truth of my emotions: I don’t feel worthy of all this goodness.

Recently, I’ve been receiving more goodness than I’m used to. All the areas of my life are sparkly and radiant right now: my work life, love/sex life, social life, financial life, etc… I’m exceeding my own expectations, and I can hardly believe my luck.

But it’s not luck that has gotten me here.

It’s the result of hard work, and relentless dedication.

Shifting a perception isn’t easy. And as my dream reveals, there are still deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and fear as I navigate through this new territory of openness and bliss. But I’ve made a commitment to show up in each moment with an open mind and an open heart anyway. I chose to stop limiting myself and my capacity to experience an abundance of joy.

I’ve chosen to believe I am worth all the goodness life has to offer. 

Have you?

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