An overview of upcoming content

Following up on the Do Less philosophy from the last post, this March we're going to be cutting down on the amount of posts per week. Instead of posting 3 times a week, the posting schedule will be adjusted to a single post every Friday and will consist of the following:

• Friday - Week One: Fiction / Poetry
• Friday - Week Two: Nonfiction
• Friday - Week Three: Media Review
• Friday - Week Four: Media Review

With that being said, this month will also feature a new theme. The theme of March 2023 will revolve around renewal (hello spring!) and diving deep into doing the work of understanding yourself. 

What does that mean?

Well, it means we will be posting and looking for stories that revolve around inner growth.

• fiction that revolves around characters learning what it means to be themselves;
• poems that capture the essence of what it means to be awakened and fully alive;
• advice that prompts you to pay attention or gets you to reflect on your life experiences in a different way;
• and reviews and recommendations of media that inspire self-reflection and the motivation to be truly alive. 

If that sounds like something you’d like to write, we welcome your submissions. 

We'll be accepting all submissions that fit the theme of renewal and self-discovery so if you have any content that works, we'd love to feature your submissions!

And for those who would prefer to read, here’s a sneak peek at our upcoming content this month:

Week One

March 10, 2023 - Flash Fiction: The Choice by Kayla Mathys

Week Two

March 17, 2023 - Advice: The 5 Experiences Necessary for Personal Growth

Week Three

March 24, 2023 - Novel Review: The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks Dalton

Week Four

March 31, 2023 - Book Review: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

Let us know in the comments below which piece you're most excited about seeing! And don't forget to reach out to us on social media too!

I’m not an easy person to comfort.

I find it incredibly irritating when I confide in someone and they immediately try to fix the problem.

But for a lot of people, that’s the default way to comfort their loved ones. 

And I get it. It sucks to see someone you love hurting.

But sometimes, the best ways to comfort aren’t about “fixing” the problems causing their pain.

Sometimes, we already know what we need to do and we just want to know someone else is there for us. Other times, we need to voice our pain out loud, and let it be heard as we feel our own way into a solution.

Regardless of where we’re at, though, the following 5 alternatives to the typical “fixing” approach are much better to use the next time someone comes to you for comfort.

1. Let them feel.

The biggest problem that occurs when forcing someone to take on a “fix-it” mentality in the midst of their pain is that you’re not allowing them to feel it. And in order for them to maintain a clear enough head to find their own solution, they need to be given the chance to feel and overcome their pain.. If they want to cry, lend them a shoulder. If they want to scream and break things, give them a (healthy) outlet (remember what Augustus did for Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars?). Let the emotion pour out in whatever form they need it to (just make sure no laws and or bones get broken in the process).


2. Lend an ear.

Listen. Just listen. If you need to speak, encourage them to speak more. But stop trying to fix their problems in your head or determine your response. JUST LISTEN. If they wanted your advice, they would ask for it. If not, they probably just want someone to talk to. Be that person. Let them vent.


3. Express empathy.

Let them know that you understand what they’re going through. Put yourself in their shoes, and notice how it feels. Only then can you give voice to the feeling. “That sounds really frustrating.” or “How terrifying!” or “That must have really hurt.” Show you understand without telling them you understand.


4. Give a hug.

Hugs are healing, the universal magic touch of comfort. Wrap your arms around them like you mean it and squeeze your love into them. Sometimes, all we need is that solid reminder that we are held and loved.



5. Offer to help.

This should be the very last thing you do when you’re trying to comfort someone, but if you honestly have a feasible solution to their problem, by all means, let them know you’d be happy to help. And by “help” I don’t mean offering them a solution that you think they should enact. I mean a solution that you personally can help out with. Can you cook them meals? Help out with childcare? Lend some money? If there’s a need you can fill, offer your support. They might not take you up on it, but sometimes, it’s the thought that truly counts.

How do you feel about the alternatives listed here? Do you have any other suggestions that you prefer?

Let me know on one of our socials!

The Light, a short story by Kayla L. Mathys

He didn’t intend for it to end this way.

When the sheer brightness of the headlights had appeared in front of him, he’d found himself drifting toward the light as instinctually as a moth’s wings and by the time he realized what he’d done, it was too late.

He’d seen the lights through the watery blur of a path cleared by his windshield wipers and thought of her.

Forgive me, Sarah.

And as the blinding lights consumed him, his mind sparked with memories.

He first remembered how, as a child, he would arise each day to the good-morning glow of sunrise streaking through his bedroom window blinds and the sound of Sarah’s tentative knock upon his window.

Come play with me, Brad, she’d say with an adventurous grin, summoning him outdoors.

They spent their days as pirates in search of rare treasures; as super-spies on a secret mission to save the world; as the princess and the knight tasked with saving her from peril. 

They fought with water guns filled with blue and yellow paint, their clothes stained green; built castles out of old sheets hung from tree limbs; and captured rogue tadpoles in the creek that separated her house from his. 

The sun was always bright above their heads, their cheeks flushed from the warmth.

He then thought of how their childhood friendship had flared into something more during a summer camping trip years later.

They were teenagers then, sitting around the warmth of the campfire, melting the stiff edges of chocolate bars with the heat of gooey, blackened marshmallows pressed into graham crackers. She’d laughed at something he said, and he’d felt the sound as it burned and bursted in his chest.

I’m in love with her, he’d thought.

Then he leaned in and kissed her sticky-sweet lips as she was still smiling.

They spent the rest of the night snuggled in a single sleeping bag underneath the light of a thousand twinkling stars perfectly visible.

The night his dad left, he remembered searching for her face in the crowd of people in the stands, the stadium lights beaming down on him from the field. It had been an important night for him. A game that would determine his future. 

He hadn’t known then how much his future was about to change.

His dad–the conqueror of the boogeyman under his bed, the one who taught him how to ride a bike with no hands, the fixer of broken toys and skinned knees–had gone from family to stranger in a single night when he abandoned his family without saying goodbye.

Brad had felt helpless as the question that burned his mind why would he leave me behind? Quickly turned into what if I’m just not enough?

The answer was always one bottle of 100 proof away.

The answer was always one bottle of 100 proof away.

He knew it wasn’t fair to Sarah, but in the darkest corners of his mind he worried he wouldn’t be enough for her either. He would see the glimmer of light in the deep blue ocean of her eyes and would press the bottle to his lips to drown out the sight, certain it was only a matter of time before she realized the truth and abandoned him too.

Tonight, when his worry had finally been confirmed–the light spilling from the hallway when he opened the bedroom door, shining a spotlight on her betrayal–he knew it was his own fault. 

She hadn’t wanted to go to the party, but they’d gone anyway–at his insistence.

Then, he’d broken the promise he’d made to her, the only thing she had asked of him that night.

It had been his choice, his fault, his mistake. He knew that.

But the image of her in the arms of his best friend had still unleashed the liquid fury burning through his veins and though the anger was at himself, he’d turned it toward her instead.

Now, it was too late to take it back.

Now it was too late to take it back.

His blood-stained hands were on the steering wheel, rain pouring in sheets all around him.

Forgive me, Sarah, he thought.

And in front of him, there was only light.

I’ve been really behind in staying up to date on what’s trending in the YA genre.

It used to be one of my favorite genres, but perhaps now that I’ve “officially” grown out of the target demographic of this particular genre of literature, I’ve lost touch with what’s trending in it.

Thankfully, one of my classes this semester is a YA Literature class–which means a syllabus full of juicy recommendations disguised as required readings.

And Aristotle & Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe was at the top of that list. 

I intended to get a jumpstart on reading it before the class would be reviewing it, but it wound up being so good that I read the entire thing in just two days. 

The story is told in the first person perspective of the main character named Aristotle, a lonely teenager growing up in El Paso. During a trip to the local pool one summer day, he meets fellow loner, Dante, who offers to teach him how to swim. The two quickly become best friends who complement each other in the best ways: while Aristotle is a melancholy, overthinker, who likes to keep his emotions to himself, Dante is optimistic and expressive–often acting without thinking things through. 

The beauty of the story is in how the discovery of the main character is entirely related to the unfolding of the other characters in the story. Ari’s emotional inner world is intimately connected to the world and people around him.

His father, for instance, is a very solemnly quiet man who has trouble expressing his deep emotions leftover from fighting in the Vietnam war. As Ari begins to recognize a similar habit in himself, we see his feelings for his father begin to change in intensity as he starts to question his identity and noticing all the things he is not.

Despite touching on some incredibly deep, emotional topics, though, the story doesn’t feel overly heavy. The chapters are super short–some of them only a paragraph or two long. There’s also a lot more dialogue than description which makes it incredibly easy to read while allowing us to experience the complex events and emotions in the story in a way that feels refreshingly interactive.

We see Ari’s struggles with himself through his conversations with others as well as his various journal entries and racing thoughts and in this way, we begin to notice how his actions and interactions in the world don’t necessarily match up with how he thinks of himself.

The story ends with his dad finally opening up to him about his traumatic experiences in the war and his mother finally opening up to him about his brother who is in prison–a topic that has long been regarded as taboo in his family. And through his parents finally opening up, Ari is able to open up himself and is finally able to tell Dante how he really feels about him.

Overall, it’s a delicious love story that demands to be consumed over and over and over again–if only for the reminder that the secrets of the universe are always patiently waiting for us to realize we’ve been worthy of knowing them all along.

Don't forget to connect with Story Cafe Media and let me know what you think.

Have you read this novel before? If so, what did you think about it? What quotes stood out to you the most?

If not, do you think you will? Why or why not?

I look forward to hearing from you!

Are you in a toxic relationship?

It’s not always easy to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship or not. Sometimes, toxic behaviors seem relatively harmless and are easy to dismiss. I think most of us can tell when our partner is being outright emotionally or physically abusive, but what if they aren't? Does that mean our relationship is healthy?

Not quite.

If you notice the following toxic behaviors in your relationship, you might want to reevaluate if it’s worth continuing.

1. “Fixing.”
Real love is unconditional. It is aware that flaws are present, but accepts them as they are. Real love knows that perfection is not a person. Therefore, the second we start trying to change the people we claim to love, we stop loving them. Whether we’re trying to change a bad habit, a skill, or a personality trait doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re trying to change someone who can only change themselves. Change comes from within. We can try as much as we like, but in the end, the decision to change falls on them–not us. And the more we push, the less we love. So stop “fixing” and start loving.

2. Lying.
This goes for all of its many forms. Lies of omission do just as much harm as an actual, flat-out lie. And lying with good intentions can do twice as much harm as telling the painful truth. Speak the truth, always. If you’re not in a relationship where you can be honest, then you’re not in a healthy relationship. Real love speaks the truth, even when it hurts. Stop lying.

3. Morphing
Most of us will enter relationships without fully knowing who we are. Oftentimes, it’s the experiences within a relationship that teach us the most about ourselves. However, there’s also a tendency to lose ourselves in a relationship. We become people we don’t recognize. We start denying our own inner truths to suit the needs of the person we’re in a relationship with. And that’s not healthy. Real love doesn’t change who we are. It makes us more of who we are. It brings out the very best that is already within us. Stop changing to suit the relationship or another person. Be you.

4. Arguing.
Debates are healthy in relationships. Having different opinions on things is normal, and working through disagreements is beneficial to every relationship. However, there is a difference between debating/disagreeing and arguing. In an argument, there’s the unhealthy belief that one person is wrong and the other person is right. Both parties will wind up fighting to the death to try to prove their own “rightness” and the other’s “wrongness.” And that’s not productive or beneficial at all. Real love understands and empathizes. It seeks to understand the other’s point of view instead of proving them wrong. You won’t agree on everything, but you can try to understand and accept the difference of opinion.

5. Neglecting.
With modern technology, we are never out of reach. We can connect with others from just about everywhere with no physical effort. This is great, but it also means our attention is easily divided and diverted. And a successful relationship needs quality time and attention given to it in order to survive. We need to stop neglecting our relationships. Set aside some time devoted entirely to the relationship. It doesn’t have to be a lot. It just has to be given your complete, undivided attention. 

If you or your partner are guilty of these relationship behaviors, it’s important to consider why they might be occurring. Once you understand why they might be happening, you can start to evaluate whether it’s possible to grow from this understanding and eliminate these toxic behaviors, or whether it’s time to move on from the relationship entirely.

It won’t be easy either way, but trust me: it will be much more difficult to continue on in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. Love yourself enough to know when to walk away. Love your partner enough to let them go so they can grow.

Don't forget to connect with us on social media and let me know what you thought of this article.

Have you ever experienced these behaviors in your relationships? Which ones? How did you overcome them?

I look forward to hearing from you!