5 Subtle Signs Your Relationship Needs Help


are you in a toxic relationship? 5 subtle signs your relationship needs help. A man holding a sign that says "No!" and a woman holding a sign that says "Yes!"

Are you in a toxic relationship?

It’s not always easy to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship or not. Sometimes, toxic behaviors seem relatively harmless and are easy to dismiss. I think most of us can tell when our partner is being outright emotionally or physically abusive, but what if they aren't? Does that mean our relationship is healthy?

Not quite.

If you notice the following toxic behaviors in your relationship, you might want to reevaluate if it’s worth continuing.

1. “Fixing.”
Real love is unconditional. It is aware that flaws are present, but accepts them as they are. Real love knows that perfection is not a person. Therefore, the second we start trying to change the people we claim to love, we stop loving them. Whether we’re trying to change a bad habit, a skill, or a personality trait doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re trying to change someone who can only change themselves. Change comes from within. We can try as much as we like, but in the end, the decision to change falls on them–not us. And the more we push, the less we love. So stop “fixing” and start loving.

2. Lying.
This goes for all of its many forms. Lies of omission do just as much harm as an actual, flat-out lie. And lying with good intentions can do twice as much harm as telling the painful truth. Speak the truth, always. If you’re not in a relationship where you can be honest, then you’re not in a healthy relationship. Real love speaks the truth, even when it hurts. Stop lying.

3. Morphing
Most of us will enter relationships without fully knowing who we are. Oftentimes, it’s the experiences within a relationship that teach us the most about ourselves. However, there’s also a tendency to lose ourselves in a relationship. We become people we don’t recognize. We start denying our own inner truths to suit the needs of the person we’re in a relationship with. And that’s not healthy. Real love doesn’t change who we are. It makes us more of who we are. It brings out the very best that is already within us. Stop changing to suit the relationship or another person. Be you.

4. Arguing.
Debates are healthy in relationships. Having different opinions on things is normal, and working through disagreements is beneficial to every relationship. However, there is a difference between debating/disagreeing and arguing. In an argument, there’s the unhealthy belief that one person is wrong and the other person is right. Both parties will wind up fighting to the death to try to prove their own “rightness” and the other’s “wrongness.” And that’s not productive or beneficial at all. Real love understands and empathizes. It seeks to understand the other’s point of view instead of proving them wrong. You won’t agree on everything, but you can try to understand and accept the difference of opinion.

5. Neglecting.
With modern technology, we are never out of reach. We can connect with others from just about everywhere with no physical effort. This is great, but it also means our attention is easily divided and diverted. And a successful relationship needs quality time and attention given to it in order to survive. We need to stop neglecting our relationships. Set aside some time devoted entirely to the relationship. It doesn’t have to be a lot. It just has to be given your complete, undivided attention. 

5 toxic relationship behaviors to stop: arguing, fixing, neglecting, morphing, and lying

If you or your partner are guilty of these relationship behaviors, it’s important to consider why they might be occurring. Once you understand why they might be happening, you can start to evaluate whether it’s possible to grow from this understanding and eliminate these toxic behaviors, or whether it’s time to move on from the relationship entirely.

It won’t be easy either way, but trust me: it will be much more difficult to continue on in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. Love yourself enough to know when to walk away. Love your partner enough to let them go so they can grow.

Don't forget to connect with us on social media and let me know what you thought of this article.

Have you ever experienced these behaviors in your relationships? Which ones? How did you overcome them?

I look forward to hearing from you!

You Might Also Like


Top Categories